I had thought, if marriage were to be a tourist centre, you would agree with me that one of the best spots of attraction is the matrimonial bed. It’s a place a broken heart finds its complete fix and all worries bid their goodbyes. The thought of it is enough for one to palpitate. I can see it making me go gaga a bit, even though I am not there yet. Lol.
However, no matter how glamorous the moments around lovemaking is, the matrimonial bed also could be the worst spot a couple want to see each other on. The moment you both have wished would continue every day of your lives would suddenly become such you wish would never come again. Strange, you will say, but true. The story you are about to read will enlighten you the more.
George couldn’t believe it. So, this is how sweet life can turn out, he had said to himself. He had clung so much on the hope of seeing his efforts culminate in success. He had suffered so much for this contract. And now the suffering is paying off – it has even paid off. He spoke to himself, ”Even if I don’t win the next phase of this project, I cannot be poor again.”
For once, he’s excited he’ll call the shot at home. He’ll earn his wife’s respect – he’ll have the last word. He ruffled the papers on his desk as he looked for his car keys. He clutched it in his hands and exclaimed, ”I made it!”. As he drove home that evening, he knew what awaited him at home; yes, Lucy and her trouble. Although, he had married a gentle and seemingly harmless Lucy, he’s quite alarmed at what she has turned into.
While he cannot deny that she has endured much with him, he felt she could’ve spared him a little more time, but Lucy wasn’t to give in again. ”Poor him”, he mused. He took a dash into his driveway, he prepared himself for another snob tonight. Yet, he wouldn’t break the good news until later. He made his way to the lobby and whistled calmly. ”Hi, sweetheart”, he gestured to her. But she rebuffed strongly.
As he sat at the edge of his bed that night, he wondered about what life would have been for him for the next few weeks had this contract not come through. Thoughts flashed through his mind and all he could do was to sigh. There was odd silence between them, Lucy wouldn’t even offer him what to eat, not to even ask how his day went. He was in his own world, alone and alone.
What would you have expected? He quickly entered the bathroom, and as chilling as the feel of the water was under shower, the pains in his heart couldn’t be stilled. He felt a twinge of hunger but no appetite. And his hunger was beyond food; he wanted an understanding wife. Yes, an understanding Lucy. He was done – and it was quick. He stepped back into their partly lit room and took in Lucy ‘s frame as she pretended to be asleep. He lay gently behind her, he tried holding her, but she frantically discarded his hand.
Here was the moment, George smiled to himself, even though his heart bled. He mustered up some courage as he gently said, ”Ermm, I just wanted to tell you I won the contract from AIZ holdings limited”. Did she hear him well? She woke up with a start, and screamed, “Are you serious?” George nodded in the affirmative. She hugged him, but he was still. Then, the Lucy he’s never had in a while came back. He was not moved since he knew the time for a drama like this would come. She planted a kiss on his lips.
He was tempted to respond but held himself back. She flung her night gown off as she started caressing his stomach. Almost immediately, she got a shock. George pushed her back. (I Hope you are not seeing him as a bad guy here. Please o) She bit her lips. She managed to say, ‘‘Honey, this is worth celebrating…” He stopped her with a look of disdain as he asked her, “Celebrate what? I’m not in for this tonight, please.” He continued, “Sex is my right, our obligation to each other either we fail or succeed and I wouldn’t take it as a reward for success anymore from you”.
He turned to leave and snapped at her, ”Not tonight, not any other time”. Lucy was bewildered as he made his way out of the bedroom. He needed some fresh air. Or what else could have helped? But, what if George had told Lucy about the contract before he left the office? I could see her running helter-skelter to prepare the best of delicacy for the husband. It would have been a moment in a lifetime for George. It would have been a moment George would wish never end. She would have appeared to be the best woman on earth and her commitment would escalate, seeming to last – but all would be for a moment.
While Lucy was so glad that God gave her a cane with which she could deal with her husband at will, George loathe this all his life, until his dissatisfaction reached the uttermost. Wait, how many times have you thought that what makes a marriage or relationship can break it! I love you, I need you, I can’t do anything without you, I can’t live without you, you are my crown, my life, my friend, my devotion, my all, my sweetness, my destiny, my joy, my fulfilment, my head, my shoulder, my knee and my toe?
That is valid and soothing to the ear when there is no ill in the matrimonial home. For those who struggle so hard to believe, sex was designed as a tool to help bring about perfection in marriage and never a means of getting your selfish wish done. It is to be enjoyed – enjoyed together – and not to be given as though it were a favour. You heard that? Good. Then who is teaching women to use it as bait for their husbands? I know what they think: you use what you have to get what you want; is that not it?
Then you are more wrong than right. It is share failure on your part as a woman if sex is the only thing with which you can get the undivided attention of your husband. See, it is understandable if he is not doing so much to your expectation, but I just think it doesn’t speak well enough when, he is trying his best possible, you starve him of what he should find calmness in, rather than giving him all: a way of saying, I am with you and all will be well.
Your body does not belong to you, so why hoard it like Nigeria government do hoard budget? Please stop. Yes, stop! If you make that a norm, you are a failure, again and again. Ha! I didn’t mean to make you angry, please. Can we smile together? Don’t push your husband out young woman. Don’t give her reasons to see another loving and caring woman through your face. As much as you can do, always give what you know your husband deserves; sex is such.
Did I hear you say, “I can’t understand?” No problem then, you win… No, you didn’t! You will only give the future of your home to the hands of impending danger. And if you do that because of the situation he is in, remember that tough times don’t last. It would be a matter of time, and what you starve him with won’t mean nothing to him anymore; especially when there is another woman out there that gives him every time. So, don’t you think you should find a way out? Please do.
My plea, again: never use sex as a manipulating or punitive tool against your spouse, especially the wife. (I wish I have the wherewithal to make that statement a verdict!) Here is my prayer: I pray your matrimonial bed would be a place of unending merriment. Amen. (Credit: Loversify; Image:Mochimag).