When is sex ideal in pregnancy? – By Funmi Akingbade

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Pregnant women and their husbands often wonder if it’s safe to have sex during pregnancy. Will it result in miscarriage? Will it harm the unborn baby? Are there sex positions to avoid? These and many more questions are going on in the hearts of many couples most especially those that have waited so long for pregnancy. It may surprise you to know that when a woman’s pregnancy is normal, sex is a natural, normal part of pregnancy. Deep penis penetration won’t harm the baby, who is protected by the woman’s abdomen and the uterus’ muscular walls. As a matter of fact, the baby is also cushioned by the amniotic sac’s fluid.

More also, the contractions of orgasm some women experience while they climax are not the same as labour contractions. Although as a general safety precaution, it may be advisable for some women to avoid sex in the final weeks of pregnancy, because some hormones in the semen of the man called prostaglandins can stimulate contractions. One exception may be for women who are overdue and want to induce labour. This is because some doctors believe that prostaglandins in the man’s semen actually induce labour in a full-term or past-due pregnancy, since the gel used to “ripen” the cervix and induce labour also contains prostaglandins. But other doctors believe this semen/labour connection is only theoretical and that having sex doesn’t trigger labour.

However, it is safer not to have sex if the woman is susceptible to high-risk pregnancy or has a history of past miscarriages. There should be caution too when she is at risk of preterm labour, this is a contraction before 37 weeks of pregnancy. The woman should be careful too if she has vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping without a known cause, or when she notices that her amniotic sac is leaking fluid. When scan reveals that the woman is expecting twins, triplets, or other “multiples,” she should exercise restraints.

Keep in mind, if your doctor says “no sex,” that may include anything that involves orgasm or sexual arousal, not just intercourse.

Women have different experiences when they are pregnant, including how they feel about sex. For some, desire fades during pregnancy. Other women feel more deeply connected to their sexuality and more aroused when they’re pregnant.

During pregnancy, it’s normal for sexual desire to come and go as the pregnant woman’s body changes. She may feel self-conscious, happy and in high spirit as her belly grows. Some women actually look and may feel sexier with larger, fuller pointed breasts. And many just want sex from the beginning of the pregnancy till the end. Desire differs absolutely, therefore it is expedient for wives to tell their husbands what they are feeling, what they want and what will work for them. Many times, there may be need for both partners to plan out comfortable, stimulating and arousal positions, especially later in pregnancy.

I usually tell expectant mothers to avoid lying flat on their backs in the “missionary position” for sex after the fourth month of pregnancy. That way, she can avoid the weight of the growing baby constricting major blood vessels; this is very important. One of the best ways to make sex more comfortable is to try lying sideways together or the wife might try positioning herself upright or sitting on top of her husband’s laps facing him, or sitting on his tummy backing him.

The next question is how about sex after delivery; when, how soon and how long? Actually, the first six weeks after delivery are called the postpartum period. Sex during this time may be the last thing on the mind of the new mother. As a matter of fact, the sexual desire of many new mothers may decrease because of the healing from an episiotomy, the incision or cutting received during normal vaginal delivery, or healing from abdominal incisions after caesarean birth. Some couples stay off sex just because of the normal postpartum bleeding four to six weeks after birth. Many couples even stay off sex for as long as one year. Many new mothers are too tired for sex because of the fatigue after pregnancy and the birthing process coupled with the demands of the new-born.

The changing hormone levels is also a major sex piss off. Sex is a no no for some mothers because of the sore breasts from breastfeeding, or simple emotional issues, such as postpartum blues, anxiety over parenting, or relationship issues in the marriage. Whatever the case maybe, sexual relationship/intercourse is generally safe after incisions have fully healed. This healing usually takes several weeks.

I also advise couples to consult their personal or family doctors for their opinion and recommendations. Most doctors will ask new mothers to wait for at least six weeks after delivery before intercourse, while some will tell you to start having sex two weeks after delivery, adding that sex itself does a lot of healing to episiotomy or caesarean section. But it is equally very important for the mother to be emotionally ready, physically fit and heartily comfortable, and wholesomely relaxed given the realities and stress of early parenthood. It is also essential for couples to be very patient with each other. In many homes, it can take up to a year for couples to resume normal sex life just because of the new arrival. (Funmi Akingbade, Punch).

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