She has just been notified that her husband was murdered about two weeks back. And that she (and the children) should come home to mourn him.
Her response to all that was said to her remains “Mourn him for what?”
According to her, their last child doesn’t even know the father. He left them when the boy was a toddler.
The story is also that she was a busy nurse in Europe and passed funds through her husband for various (building) projects he said they had back home. All the money is what he eventually made away with about 20 years ago. And he never looked back.
What she heard next is that he was doing so well and has investments in several states in the South-East. Lest I forget, his folks are also asking her to bring money for his burial.
A well-known lady in this clime was said to have left the man she was married to (and for whom she had a child) for her current husband-when the former had a near fatal accident that left him permanently crippled.
Some people supported her decision to move on, opining that it is unrealistic for anybody to expect a young lady (in her twenties then) to shoulder such burden that early in her life. Others came up with the gospel of ‘’for better for worse’’ and concluded that she should have stuck by her man.
But someone made a statement that got my attention. She explained that the only reason she would walk without looking back is because if the roles were reversed-seven out of 10 men will do exactly the same. Pick a new (probably much younger) wife and move on.
This same lady also pointed out the ‘claim’ that the marriage (prior to the man’s accident) was riddled with many fights. It was claimed that the man was hitting her a lot. And that probably explained why she walked without looking back.
A friend said that something she witnessed between her elder sister and her husband made her begin to see the human mind in a new light.
According to her, she has caught instances of unprovoked anger/harshness from the sister towards the husband, who seems to be aging badly especially in the mind.
So when she witnessed that recently, she appealed to the sister to “take it easy with him” and that’s when the words she didn’t expect to hear tumbled out of the Sister’s mouth. She said that the sister told her that it’s been a struggle to erase the trauma she experienced in the hands of the husband.
And then the sister asked her “have you forgotten so soon” because she lived with them then and actually minded all the couple’s children. She said that the sister’s earliest experience in the hands of the husband wasn’t a pleasant one.
So much so that the woman was always sick yet the hospitals kept telling her that nothing was wrong with her.
A couple started having their issues abroad, the police had been called on each other, unpleasant court summons followed before the lady retraced her steps and began to tow the path of reconciliation.
Whenever it seems the talks have got through to the man, something in him stirs up his ugly experiences in her hands and he recoils again. When we learned that he almost lost his livelihood and nearly went to jail over there because of her, we left him alone.
When we live for the upper hand we have today, let’s not forget that tomorrow will be different.
There are experiences that not even TIME can lessen their hold on anybody. As much as we preach forgiveness, there’s no telling how people will revisit the past when the odds are in their favour!
Credit: Chukwuneta Oby