Loneliness In The UK
When I moved to the UK a few years back, the ‘relationship market’ appeared confusing. Many people presented as available, but at the same time, they were very unavailable. It was the feeling of being lonely in a densely populated space. The single African men were eager to mingle and date foreign women. You can’t blame them, the exposure was lacking and they wanted to ‘eat’ the good of the land. As time passed, fresh immigrants especially from Africa would realize that people from their countries were not in demand. It is very frustrating. It was as bad as being asked to supervise the sharing of popular delicacies while you are fasting. Hunger must have overwhelmed your flesh, but your spirit is holding back and close to being broken. Since Nigerians couldn’t get romance for free, they decided to buy it as it is being done back home. The hook-up culture is real, it is everywhere and the only thing that differs is the degree of existence. The UK presented an awkward situation. Even with a sizeable pocket full of pound notes, it was still difficult to find a ‘seller’. It was an unusual situation.
Married Nigerian Woman Comes To The Rescue
Back home in Nigeria, a man with cash is like a king. Even the best of the best women would bow down at the feet of a man who displays the smallest evidence of success. Out of frustration, some men recounted stories of their past glory in the relationship market, but their resume was not only obsolete in the United Kingdom, it was irrelevant.
Then on Badoo – (an online dating platform), one unrelenting person found a young married woman in her early thirties who was strangely engaging in hook-up in the city. He approached her and they reached an agreement. They fixed a date and she showed up. Her rates were reportedly reasonable. As it happens, he went about telling everyone who cared to listen that he had found gold and more people started patronizing her. According to rumours, some white young men who wanted to have a feel of the African natural endowments joined the train en masse, taking turns in multiples.
To this day, I still wonder what her motivation was. Like wildfire, her phone number made it to the phonebooks of both the single and married men. She was so dedicated that she was ready to serve them all. Her sex tapes soon started flying around the city until her hubby started smelling a dead rat. She would later crawl back into her shell and not much was ever heard about her again. She allegedly relocated to another city to start a new life.
I kept thinking in my head; why would she be prostituting in a land flowing with milk and honey? You have the right to work, why didn’t she just stick to her job and make money? People sleeping with her were not better off. They probably only picked more shifts than her and brought the money from the same job she was avoiding to pay her. Up till this moment, that woman’s situation is still an enigma to me.
Contrast Between Her And The Average Briton
The woman’s life is in direct contrast to the life of the average British woman. They could give you their all if they fancy you. But money is hardly the motivation based on my personal experience thus far. Even the wealthy men avoided them as they saw them as ‘giant killers’. A single allegation could bring down the strongest empire of an accomplished man who just showed laxity for a couple of minutes. The difference between the unfaithful Nigerian woman and the locals is the political system. They are from opposite worlds. The Nigerian woman came from a dark and disadvantaged setting where economic opportunities are so limited that people tend to use what they have to get what they want. The wrong mentality must have prompted her into the adult trade without any due consideration of the fertile soil in the country. In the UK, as long as you are ready to work, you are assured of a comfortable life. If you are diligent in whatever you do, no matter its low level, you can easily afford your major needs and certain wants. You don’t need to be special to do well. At least, each venture earns you an average of 100 pounds in a day. That is equivalent to N140,000 before tax.
Although the cost of living in the UK is higher than that of Nigeria, the funds go a long way at a similar rate at the end of the month. These earnings give the earner a sense of independence which would later attract dignity and self-respect. She will not be depending on any man to buy her clothes, shoes, phones, payment of rent, school fees, medical bills, automobile acquisition, and others. She would only say ‘yes’ to the man she genuinely loves or lusts after.
The Nexus Between Poverty And Prostitution
Several academic papers have directly linked poverty with prostitution. In a research paper published in the UK in May 2023, 74% of women engaged in prostitution linked their decision to economic hardship. This might not be far from the reason why hundreds of young Nigerian women are overtly and covertly engaging in transactional sex to make ends meet. Inflation is battling a double-digit inflation rate of 25.8%, 71 million people are living in extreme poverty, with an alarming unemployment rate that has been politically revised to make the government look good.
In Nigeria, an educated young lady relocates to the commercial capital of Nigeria – Lagos. She is placed on a monthly salary of N200,000 (if she is lucky), her yearly rent might be N500,000, and transportation costs under the President Bola Ahmed Tinubu administration might be around N60,000 monthly. This person needs to feed, wear clothes, and also support family & friends financially. She might be under intense pressure to show her friends that her life is progressive. She shows evidence by using the latest iPhone, clothes, or jewelry, so as to avoid lengthy explanations. All these are uploaded as receipts on her social media accounts.
Gradually, she starts to suffer and smile as he hopes for a breakthrough. She goes to church to pray fervently for economic prosperity. The pastor via his long sermon prompts her to part with more money from her already strained purse. She looks at pictures of her mostly unemployed peers balling on social media. This gives her the feeling that she is losing out. Then enters a wealthy old man with a plan to make the universe work for her. All she needs to do is to sleep with him. Since she isn’t a virgin, she complies. After all, that private part has no meter and it has no voice to tell its story.
As promised, things would turn around for her. People start to celebrate and reckon with her but her success story is fake and misleading. She gets tempted to make more money and she jumps into the bed of richer men regardless of the size of their potbellies, their ages, or the amount of grey hairs. At this point, all that matters is the money.
If the economy of Nigeria was buoyant with massive opportunities for all, most women would not spread their legs for financial/economic benefits. This might not eradicate prostitution but it will reduce it to the barest minimum. As the economy of Nigeria worsens, rumours have it that public officials have become top financiers of the sex market. Nollywood actor Charles Inojie recently recounted on the Honestbunch podcast how his politician friends chase him around for the contact number of actresses for hook-ups. According to him, women are ever-willing as long as the price is right.
Credit: Osahon George Osayimwen