My major advice to people in Nigeria right now is to find, nurture and cherish a support system. If your support system comes from family (parents, siblings or a handful of relations), you are most blessed but if not, life is also capable of giving us a family in strangers.
Have people you can lean on (emotionally or materially) in your trying times. Have people who can pray with you when you feel overwhelmed. Have people you can talk about your issues with and not feel judged. Have people you can cry to and they will wipe your tears.
Have someone you can confide in, without fearing that your story will get into the wrong ears. Have people you can be yourself (warts and all) with and not feel diminished. The times call for every man and woman to surround themselves with people who feel at home.
Nobody is growing younger and you do not have to be around people who don’t have a positive bearing on your mental health.
Please note that you cannot effectively make a support system out of whom you are hardly available to. Yes, we must become that which we seek from others. Learn to be there for people you expect or wish to be there for you.
Some of us don’t know how to check on friends and loved ones, except when we need something from them. That is the first mentality to do away with in these times. If you seek to be at peace with life, you must stop using people.
Make self-care a priority! People are dropping dead at an alarming rate these days and it’s often because we are taking care of everything and everyone else to the total negligence and detriment of the self.
Please begin to make SELF-CARE a priority right now. When was the last time you went for a complete medical check-up? Have you started moving your body via exercise? What do you feed your body, mind and soul these days?
I made a resolve a very long time ago to only go in the direction of what speaks positively to my mental health. And that includes socialisation, social media feeds, etc. As you get older, one bold move you should make is to guard your mental health and emotional space jealously.
Please begin now to sieve the things and people you give access to your energy. Have a relationship with God in your way.
The relationship you have with God and the way you understand Him is the most fulfilling. When you develop a personal relationship with God, you will not make a god/idol out of mere humans.
Tailor your spirituality after your values and personal convictions.
By now, we should all know that there are many ways to get to the heart of God. You can worship God through what you do for humanity. You can serve God through your deeds and intentions towards others and your community.
You can pray to God through what you subject your mind and body to.
It is all in your sincerity of heart. The sincerity of our heart is all that matters to God. So, even when you feel you have nobody to run to, you have God. And He is most able.
Live within your means. I can’t preach this enough, in this era of ‘‘soft life’’ movement. There is nothing like a “soft life”, if you do not desire a lifestyle that encourages you to leave your dignity behind.
If that “hustle” doesn’t respect your body or feelings, it will not leave your soul dignified. Make lifestyle choices that can help you live easily with yourself.
It is said that ‘’once you carry your water, you will learn the value of every drop’’. Don’t hang your taste in someone else’s pocket. It will always put you in a moral tight corner. A lot of young people who are getting married these days are people who need to get a job and not get into marriage.
This era has witnessed unprecedented weird marital realities that leave no one in doubt of what the motive (economic survival) really is.
With mindsets that view marriage as the fastest route to economic survival, the crisis rocking the marital institution is hardly surprising. Hold a hand. Don’t be so absorbed in your challenges that you don’t look out for humanity. You are happier when you can afford to hold a hand in support, despite your struggles.
This is the best time to do more for humanity, in whatever capacity you can. No matter how tough your struggles are, your reality is still a paradise to someone else. Choose not to bury your head in your struggles, occasionally, look up in search of a hand to hold!
Credit: Chukwuneta Oby