When a friend asked me to handle the keynote address for their women’s retreat, I accepted on one condition that I would be allowed to speak from the heart.
The theme of that particular retreat was ‘securing your home.’ Not a few women in that gathering expressed bewilderment when I mentioned showing grace to fellow women as a factor in securing homes. I went ahead to explain myself.
Many of the onslaughts on homes have ‘the other woman’ as a major. But what a lot of women can’t bear to think about is that, there is always a way we can help mitigate these risks to our homes.
Your home can’t always be ‘secure’ as long as there is an army of young girls out there without direction. Some of them might even become your children’s friends, someday.
It’s not always about the ‘safe nest’ you call home. The REAL LIFE happens out there! How many young girls have you made efforts to counsel/mentor?
The only way some women feel comfortable having another female in their space is when the girl is subjected to ODD circumstances. Some domestic helps’ MAJOR experience with basic hygiene and decent underwear came not from their madam but ‘Oga’ probably in a bid to teach her how to keep ‘that place’ clean for him.
Yet, these are the basic things that a reasonable woman could honourably teach a young girl. No girl whose eyes are open in this manner will ever look back. Whatever it takes to improve her lot.
Woman, do you live a life of ‘pepper them’? I am referring to the mindless materialism these days. And carelessness of attitude.
An incident happened some years back through a lady I used to buy footwear from. I met her friend from whom I understand their friendship goes way back to their ‘hustling’ days in Cotonou.
When my customer began to have issues in her marriage, she was fast to deduce the source. It was that her friend! The lady armed the husband with damaging evidences of his wife’s infidelity.
I knew the futility of preaching reconciliation to both ladies. But I thought the other lady could at least apologise to her erstwhile friend. She pointedly told me that she feels no remorse for what she did.
And went on to explain that she simply got tired of her friend’s ‘double life’ while taunting her about her (divorced) marital status.
She said the former would condescendingly throw ‘all these divorcees all over the place’ at her. So, she taught her a lesson by planting evidences of her numerous ‘$100 per night’ activities in town.
You see. The average person is emotionally fragile. And depending on what their sore point is, your lifestyle (especially if careless or ‘in your face’) can stir varied emotions in them. Just pray the devil doesn’t push them hard enough to ‘pour sand in your garri.’
If you are not intentional with your lifestyle, your home will not be secure! A woman who belongs in these times comes into equity with clean hands. You can’t continue to ‘chop and clean mouth’ and expect life to reward you with a ‘secure home.’
There’s a category of women who don’t believe in helping fellow women. If you don’t help them, your men will—-as ‘sugar-daddy’, at least! Your meanness to another woman won’t make your man behave.
For as long as women are unfeeling towards their vulnerable own, the epidemic of ‘side chick’ is here to stay. This is because any woman that overcomes your meanness to succeed will most likely make ‘defeating you’ a goal! The woman for these times understands that it’s not always about the guile of other women, but her own demons!
Credit: Chukwuneta Oby, Punch