This was an experience that a man narrated to me, recently:
How does a woman wake up one morning to put a marriage of over 14 years behind her?
Because that was exactly what happened!
I thought my wife was joking the morning she told me that she was quitting our marriage.
I was so confused that I went straight to the kitchen to drink water first before going back to her.
When I saw that she meant what she was saying, I did the only thing that came to mind, which was to call an elderly couple that we were very close to.
They invited us separately to talk. And what they told me was that my wife couldn’t mention what I did wrong, except what she called ‘growing incompatibility.’
Growing incompatibility that gave us three beautiful teenagers and a marriage of over 14 years?
Anyway, the next thing I knew, the police were called in. She told them that she feared for her life as she had told me that she wanted a divorce.
I just picked a few personal belongings and left the house.
The couple that I mentioned earlier opened their doors to me. I stayed with them for some days before moving to new accommodation.
Mind you, my mother-in-law was with us all through these ordeals and this woman never intervened.
In fact, she avoided me most of the time.
She would only come out of her room when she knew I was out of the house. And when she couldn’t help it, she kept out of my way.
I was tempted to ask her if she was OK with what the daughter was doing, but my mind told me not to bother. I could be looking at the cause of my marital problems.
I am very close to my mother and once a month, I try to have a video (besides the weekly phone conversations) call with her to have a good look at her physical condition.
Apparently, when she didn’t receive my call as usual, she called me.
I was so stressed that I deliberately refused to call her. But when she called me, I had to pick up her call, otherwise, she would be worried sick.
What I didn’t realise was the extent of my stress level on my physical appearance because as soon as I picked up her (video) call, my mother let out a shout, asking when I had become sick and didn’t tell her.
To calm her down, I assured her that I wasn’t sick. And went ahead to tell her about my marital challenges.
What I still regret to this day was picking up that video call because my mother died of a heart attack by the next day.
In fact, what happened during the rest of that call made me realize my mistake immediately.
My mother kept mentioning my wife’s name questioningly.
She couldn’t believe there would ever be a time my wife would do what she did.
They were very close. My mother called her the daughter she never had.
I am an only child.
Anyway, it’s been years since all these happened.
I don’t know if my emotions will ever heal from the trauma of that phase of my life.
My children are in my life fully. Their mother has been grappling with a mental problem for the last couple of years.
I even learned about the house she was lured into building back home, which she never mentioned to me, even as we lived as husband and wife.
She is the mother of my children. I still offer her whatever support I can. But, nothing between us is like before, anymore.
I have moved on and I am daily committed to rebuilding my life.
Let people know that the only thing that pays when the chips are down is goodness.
Credit: Chukwuneta Oby