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If you multiply hypocrisy by incompetence and divide the product by impunity, the answer you get is a failed Federal Republic of Nigeria led by the aged pensioner, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd.). Also, if you add idleness and vainglory to immaturity and subtract the result from common sense, two wantoning kids touring a sand […]
Continue ReadingMarketplace. The telltale firefly that reveals human nature. It’s the field of fortune and the mine of misfortune. Inside the marketplace are darkroom secrets that whelp wealth. The marketplace also contrasts with the muffled yelp of poverty in the sun of missed opportunities. On a visit to the US some years ago, I was struck […]
Continue ReadingAct 4: Scene I Deities don’t read newspapers. Humans do. Orita Gbaemu is the crossroads in Osogbo where deities are appeased in August at the commencement rites of Osun Osogbo, the globally acclaimed riverine festival that uplifts culture and restores worshippers’ souls. From time out of mind, the Ataoja, once in every August, sits in splendour […]
Continue ReadingShe is the final handiwork of creation. Divinely chiselled with total attentiveness, Beki personifies charm, class and candour. No man looks at Beki in a hurry. At the sight of Beki, eyes brighten, gaze and succumb to her spell. Beki is an overdose of elegance. Nature wasn’t only prodigal in lavishing beauty on her, nature […]
Continue ReadingAgain, the book fell from the sleepy hands of Kiko, a PhD student of Addictive Psychiatry. The book, “The Land of Shameless Leaders,” is psychiatry’s grundnorm of psychoanalytic dialectics on greed, deceit, impunity and heartlessness in governance. Kiko knows he can’t graduate without passing Psychiatry 999, a five-unit course. To pass Psychiatry 999, he must […]
Continue ReadingA huge outrage is currently on stage in Minneapolis, USA, where Derek Chauvin, a chauvinist, rammed his knee down a throat and inflicted a large damage to America’s formidable image of a quintessential society resplendent in racial diversity. Chauvin didn’t kneel down in prayer. He, probably, was too profane to pray. He, absolutely, was blind […]
Continue ReadingLike an arrow shot from the bowel of hell, a silver-colour car zoomed past, vroom! A merchant of death was behind the wheel. Like a lion on the heels of its prey, about 10 police vehicles followed in close hunt. It was the American law in pursuit of justice. There was no accidental discharge. No […]
Continue ReadingTick-tock, tick-tock, both hands of the clock tiptoed to 12midnight. It was December 31. Hunger and anger waved at the year 1983 which said its goodbyes and trudged towards the calendar door. Economically, 1983 was bad for Nigeria and her naira. The masses had nothing but the skin covering their bones. Stuffed up to the […]
Continue ReadingSo much dust has been raised since Abba Kyari bit the dust last Friday. When he walked the surface of the earth, the Chief of Staff to the President, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd.), was omnipotent. He was a sociologist and a lawyer – two unique fields that expound theories and ideas in human behaviour […]
Continue ReadingBefore 1975, the name ‘Gabber’ meant nothing to me. It was just any other nice-sounding moniker. But after I watched Sholay, India’s most successful movie in the last 50 years, at Rainbow Cinema, Mushin, Lagos, in the mid 70s, I began to hold the name in suspicion. Gabber’s initials are GS. He’s the supervillain in […]
Continue ReadingSight, the king of the five senses, is superior to touch, taste, hearing and smell. But sight is inferior to insight. I contemplated this truth last week when I interrogated the essence of a man whom life blinded with a vicious uppercut. But, instead of lying floored on his back in defeat, he rose up […]
Continue ReadingFast and furious, the song and drums roar like a crash of thunder in rainy season and she dances wildly like fire. Like a devil resisting deliverance, she jumps and gyrates with the skill of a striptease dancer. She dons a white Versace wear. She’s a famous gospel music evangelist. She chews widely on a […]
Continue ReadingHumility rarely resides in little bodies. As youngsters, short-man-devil was the jocular name we had for guys with brief physiques. We also had a name for the bumbling tall fellas, who threw their heights about as though tallness counted for wisdom. We called them Dagini Dooro, which is neither a baptismal name nor a name […]
Continue ReadingStop! Do not read if you’re not a patriot! Don’t, because this is a journey into Nigeria’s past continuous existence. It’s a journey meant only for hearts where the love for Nigeria resides. The vehicle for this journey is called metonymy. A little introduction about the vehicle is needed for a smooth ride, I tell […]
Continue ReadingThe imagery of the ‘amukun’ is popular among the Yoruba. ‘Amukun’ is the Yoruba adjective for the knock-kneed. Knock-kneed is the turenchi for the pidgin expression, K-leg. K-leg is K-leg; an abnormal curve of the legs that causes the knees to touch while the feet are apart. I’ll recreate the ‘amukun’ imagery. One day, the […]
Continue ReadingBoth men operate in the country’s circus called politics. One is the Chairman, Independent National Electoral Commission. His name is Mahmood Yakubu, a guerilla warfare expert and Professor of Political History and International Studies. The other is the National Leader of the All Progressives Congress, to which the ruthless National Union of Road Transport Workers […]
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