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Goliath and Chief of Defence Staff, General Lucky Irabor, is the highest-ranking military officer in the Nigerian Armed Forces. His duties include formulating operational policies and programmes for the Army, Navy and Air Force with a view to attaining national security. The Defender of the Nigerian Universe, General Irabor, has able lieutenants in the Chief […]
Continue ReadingWhen the blindfolded head drops on the hard floor, kpi!, like the back-kick of an angry horse, please, know that not all guillotined heads are guilty. That is why the Yoruba say, “Ori yeye ni Imogun, t’aise lo po.” Imogun is the Yoruba Golgotha; the place of skulls, where many innocent heads have rolled down the pit of […]
Continue ReadingFor a breath of fresh air and to maintain my sanity, I’ll desist from talking about the retired General Muhammadu Buhari in this article. Also, I’ll resist talking about murderous Boko Haram, terrorist Fulani herdsmen, nationwide bandits, humongous corruption and bleeding nepotism which the Buhari regime will bequeath to the incoming Presidency in 2023, if […]
Continue ReadingThe suya burnt his palms, but he was stoic, like a true Christian. Initially, he tossed the hot suya from palm to palm ping-pong, then flung open the Holy Bible with his left hand, and ripped off pages from the New Testament, placing the hot suya on the word of Christ. Calm embalms his palms. […]
Continue ReadingWith a tongue roughly twice the length of its body, and a brocade of dubious colours for skin, the chameleon is the ultimate invisible animal predator. Without premonition, small creatures like worms and insects searching for daily bread disappear suddenly into the Bermuda Triangle in the belly of the dodgy chameleon via a sticky, snappy […]
Continue ReadingLacking the speed of the cheetah, the strength of the bull and the ferocity of the tiger, the chameleon, with its camouflage of many colours, tip-toes daily in cautious slow-motion, living on the wisdom of adaptive wits. Appearing unconcerned, unpurposed and uninterested, the chief of stealth and the lord of disguise, the chameleon, is the […]
Continue ReadingAny day, a cow in a china shop is a recipe for disaster. Anyway, it’s also a metaphor for Nigeria. Anywhere, a cow never frolics in a china shop, except in a great-little country like ours, Nigeria, where it lounges in a china shop; lolling its big horns, swaying its brisk tail and clattering its […]
Continue ReadingIn between 2015 and 2021 are the years of the locust when hope was on his shoulder, law wisdom in his cerebrum, gospel on his lips but Nigeria’s Vice President, Yemi Osinbajo, law professor, politician, and pastor, crash-landed like Humpty Dumpty under the weight of lawlessness. I sincerely sympathise with the General Overseer, The Redeemed […]
Continue ReadingThe name, Eve, is not a derivative of the word, evil, though both sound alliteratively similar. It’s a name native to Hebrew, adopted by Latin as Eva, and accommodated by English as Eve. In Hebrew, Eve means living. But religious male chauvinists are wont to disagree with this meaning and insist that Eve means the […]
Continue ReadingSubhanallah, alhamdulillah, astaghfirullah, la ilaha illa Allah! This is my most favourite Islamic chant. I love its rhythm, rhyme and reason. It means, “God is perfect, praise be to Allah, I seek forgiveness from Allah, there’s no other god, except Allah!” Of the 12 Islamic months in the Hijri calendar, Ramadan, the ninth month, is […]
Continue ReadingAs a herdsman, ‘yowwa’ is the likeliest gratifying word to escape from the tight-lipped Nigerian President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd.), if his cows nuzzle their muzzles against him as they eat hay from his outstretched hands during a random visit to his herd. And as a devout Muslim, […]
Continue ReadingI laughed upon remembering Chief Zebrudaya Okoroigwe Nwogbo alias 4:30, and a proverb came to mind: “If death are strike dead the slow-motion chameleon with reckless abandon, why shall it not quench the jumpy-jumpy frog with instant automatic alacrity? Tell me!” Chief Zebrudaya, the patriarch of Nigeria’s funniest English sitcom, New Masquerade, didn’t vocalise the […]
Continue ReadingDear Hajiya, With gratitude to God for a vacation well spent, I, Babatunde Odesola, Esq., heartily rejoice on the safe return of the First Lady, Hajiya Aisha Buhari, to Nigeria after spending 4,380 hours in the cozy United Arab Emirates city called Dubai, away from the kisses and cuddles of her aged husband, Major General […]
Continue ReadingAbomination walked naked in Elegbeka community of Ose Local Government Area in Ondo State on November 26, 2020 when some sons of darkness, brandishing guns, killed a god. First, they cocked their guns and kidnapped the god. Moments later, they shot the god, shedding the blue blood of a first-class Ondo traditional ruler, the Olufon […]
Continue ReadingBecause there’s absolutely nothing inspiring about the most popular Buhari that I know, I can’t name my son Buhari. Buhari bawo? Naming my son Buhari would be an unforgivable sin against the infant. But, can you, my reader, name your own son Buhari? Why, if yes, and why not, if no? Naming my son Buhari would […]
Continue ReadingThe 23rd child of his father, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd.) joined the military in 1962 at 19 and at 40, he toppled a democratically elected civilian government to become Head of State before he was booted out of power at 42. Within the first 20 years of his working life, Buhari made hay, attaining […]
Continue ReadingWith a trap-like mouth comprising 80 spiky teeth, death is the smile on the face of an adult crocodile. In a dramatised circus that pledged to protect lives, limbs and fatherland, the Nigerian military, on Saturday, October 17, 2020, embraced the crocodile and its smile when it launched Operation Crocodile Smile. Like the smile of […]
Continue ReadingOn the bloody road to the Kogi governorship election, Yahaya Bello threatened the electorate in his re-election campaign song titled, “Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!” But Bello isn’t all about roaring guns, he’s also a humble leader, who dragged the leadership of the All Progressives Congress to Kogi — on their kneels — to beg the aggrieved citizenry for […]
Continue ReadingAfter spending over 46,824 hours in office as the 15th Nigerian Head of State without tangible achievements to show for it, Minister of Works and Housing, Babatunde Fashola, has besmeared the image of Major General Muhamadu Buhari (retd.) with the mishmash colours of green, white, grime and deceit. I’ll confess. Fashola never set out to […]
Continue ReadingFor the All Progressives Congress, it’s not raining, it’s pouring but the umbrella is with the hot-chasing rival, the Peoples Democratic Party. Each time the President, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd.), boots a penalty kick into a throw-in, I begin to ponder the importance of secondary school education as a useful tool for political leadership. […]
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