A good marriage does not only require a great deal of love but also respect which is often regarded as the number one component in a marriage that aspires to succeed. Even though respect is often regarded as an element of courtesy either due to age, influence, or status, however, respect is often earned and not freely given in many modern societies today
Respect is innate
When you consider respect as a feeling of appreciation for someone’s character, accomplishments and potential which naturally draw you closer to that person without seeking any affirmation; the lack of respect is certainly a feeling of depreciation and lack of achievement.
An emotional affair may not come from a lack of affection but a lack of respect for your spouse perhaps due to unrealistic expectations. Imagine if you and your spouse can also recognise the different qualities you both brought to your marriage and begin to treasure them; you will certainly begin to respect and appreciate each other more than ever before.
Respect is meek
Respect can mean different things to you and your spouse especially if you are from different cultural backgrounds or childhood experiences. In some marriages, respect can only be earned and in others, it is simply an act of accepting the partners for who they are. Many couples are struggling in their marriages today due to lack of respect for each other which can make the marriage susceptible to external pressures and the opportunity to seek love and respect outside the marriage.
This act of respect creates a selfless relationship which binds them together to recognise and meet each other’s needs as well as to build a defence against emotional affair in their marriage.
Respect reduces conflict
Conflict can occur in your marriage when you begin to compare your spouse with someone else you admire outside your marriage because you no longer respect or show appreciation for your spouse. Couples who respect each other have healthy and productive conflicts which do not breach their respect for each other but serve as a channel for better understanding to further strengthen their relationship.
In their attempt to protect their marriage from emotional affairs, they also build a safe and secure home environment where honest and open communication play an important role in promoting and respecting their individual differences. They do not try to change the other person but enjoy a balanced life together compromising when possible.
Respect embraces change
One of the challenges in many marriages is accepting that change is inevitable and can sometimes happen when the couple least expects it. Even though some changes can bring you closer together, other changes can also be met with resistance if you have little or no respect for your spouse’s feeling because you believe he/she may be seeking attention.
If you spend most of your time focusing mainly on your children and neglecting your spouse who has suddenly started spending more time socialising with friends and coming home later than usual, you may be driving him to seek emotional affection elsewhere. Understanding the motives behind the changes and its impact on your spouse’s wellbeing is a big act of respect and concern for the one you love and putting them first before any other person.
Credit: Elizabeth Badejo, Punch