The quote reads, ‘’A perfectly crafted body will certainly get my attention but I will get bored with it. I always do. I need you to outsmart me. Make me feel like I could learn from you, grow with you. Do that and you can have me forever.”
The “I need you to outsmart me” bit got me wondering. Are relationships now a contest of wits? Nobody deserves such pressure in a relationship. It’s too egoistic a thought line for a setting that doesn’t revolve around one person’s caprices. “Outsmart’’ because you are some Albert Einstein for what? Growing together should be the focus!
Don’t bring a SUFFOCATING energy into a relationship by wearing your expectations on the sleeve. Once there’s a ‘come together’ proceed with an OPEN MIND.
If you fixate on an attribute, you will miss the other essence of their being. And possibly a red flag! Sometimes, in trying to appear “I know what I want”, we project only our shallowness.
Who says you can’t have a beautiful relationship with someone who will also learn from you? At the end of the day, we all just want a GOOD soul beside us. Intellectual compatibility doesn’t always guarantee a ‘’happily ever after’’ mind you!
It’s the “outsmart maestros” that still end up with the philosophy of “two captains cannot stay in one ship” when they see what they seek. Someone can have all those “outsmart” qualities and still give you HELL in marriage.
Always look out for GOODNESS in people every other attribute can pick up beautifully from there. If not for marital reasons, at least, you have gained a friend for life. Let’s not always limit our options with people.
A lot of the times, it’s even those that are “not too qualified” that have your time. This is because the person that knows what you know is looking for more.
Life should not be lived like one-way traffic. A lot that we give energy to are but too fragile a thread to hold issues of the heart together, when the chips are down. People run after impressions and forget core values. If you meet someone, make FRIENDSHIP a priority. That way, you are not quick with the ‘check and tick.’ And they are not saddled with the burden of your expectations.
These things STRESS relationships! While some ‘’coming together’’ may not lead to a desired route, many have led to more. For someone to even become your friend in the first place, it means that you find something good in them.
Anybody that can be your friend has the potential of ending up in matrimony with you. We just don’t realise these things because we are quick to set our attention on ‘far away’ until we realise that what we seek is in fact on us, all along.
I am picking on the “outsmart” bit, because I have seen it play out a lot of times in relationships. I know someone who eventually ended up in matrimony with someone she refused to look twice at years ago.
Today, she says of him “he is a good man.” Meaning that now that she knows better, “goodness” is all that matters. Truth is, we often don’t realise these things until we have ‘tried and tried’ our luck out there.
Without certain “shock” we are likely to stay blind to the important things. This is not in any way discouraging anybody from NOT SETTLING for less! Let’s not get so set in our ways, that we miss the direction that life is pointing us to. This is because, believe it or not, we all end up where we are meant to. It’s just that some of us will get there a little more bruised than necessary because we wouldn’t take the easier path that life offered.
Credit: Chukwuneta Oby, Punch
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