When a couple is conscious of meeting each other’s needs in their marriage, they are likely to spend more time together and respect each other’s feelings too. Unfortunately, this is not the same in many marital relationships today. It is becoming increasingly difficult for some couples to spend time together leaving their spouses feeling more invisible and lonelier in their marriages today.
Some certain habits that seem normal to some can be considered insensitive in some marriages making spouses feel invisible. While some spouses are deliberate about their habits and prepared to make changes, others can be oblivious of the effects their behaviours may be having on their spouses because they have not taken the time to study each other’s habits well enough before saying I do.
Love for friendship
The more a couple understands each other, the better they can identify habits that can make them feel invisible in the marriage without being insensitive. A spouse who is sociable and enjoys the company of his friends may be unintentionally neglecting his spouse who prefers to spend time in the comfort of her home than around her friends. It is important to understand your spouse from the courtship stage by discovering those things that he enjoys doing and if you are willing to compromise before embarking on this journey with him. On the other hand, your spouse can find a balance between the time spent with friends and the time spent with his spouse by prioritising the most important between the two.
Forgetting celebrations
Happiness is infectious and celebrations bring a lot of joyful moments in marriage which has a significant impact on the lives of couples too. Occasions such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries, and Valentine ’s Day are key events most couples look forward to celebrating together which makes marriage memorable and enjoyable too.
However, if you do not believe in celebrations but continuously miss the opportunity to celebrate your key events, this act can leave your spouse feeling invisible and miserable in the marriage. It is important to be honest about your values around celebrations from the start so that your spouse does not misinterpret your behaviour for lack of affection. The act of forgetfulness can sometimes be a sign of honesty, expressing a spouse’s feelings towards the marriage if he/she is walking on eggshells in the marriage.
Distractions from affection
According to research, one in every seven spouses in a marriage has considered filing for divorce due to their partner’s addiction to technology and social media which has become a threat to their marriages making them feel invisible. According to a study in the United Kingdom in 2011, Facebook was named as a threat to one-third of divorces filed in that year. Perhaps you are in the habit of making your spouse feel invisible by spending long hours on Facebook, and Instagram or checking other people’s statuses on WhatsApp when you get home from a long day at work instead of putting your feet up and spending quality time with your spouse, sharing details about your day together. The world is full of uncertainty and the fear of the unknown can leave many people feeling anxious, catching up with your spouse daily can reduce the feeling of loneliness and boost happiness and safety too.
Credit: Elizabeth Badejo, Punch