It’s difficult not to take in the different Naija characters that one often comes across on blog sites, especially if you are like those of us (silent readers) who also bother with the comment section.
There’s the one that seems to go there just to correct people’s grammar. This character hardly contributes to the discourse o but quick to jump at the wrong grammar and spelling with corrections.
This next character takes his IPOB agenda to blogs. Whether or not the post is a related subject does not concern him!
The preacher. This type clicks on and views sexual contents and then leaves comments like “JESUS IS LORD” afterwards.
The biblical admonition to flee from every appearance of immorality is not for this person. He will ‘’sin’’ first and preach later.
Beggy-Beggy o! He has so devised his (begging) stock-in-trade that even his account details are written in words. It just is hard to imagine the vastness of the folly of the individual who thinks it’s more productive to beg strangers for help on the internet than going out there to sweat for their daily bread. I mean, who takes the beggar that has money to buy data for prowling various blog sites seriously?
The sex maniac. It is impossible not to tag him so…going by his lewd comments. It’s safe to say he is perpetual hard-on…sort of, due to the way he sexualises even the most innocent of images.
There are women in this category, too. All those “egg-plant” photos seem to remove a particular nut from their heads.
The grumpy one! He has a habit of looking for who to insult with exotic swear and cuss words especially contrary views. It’s from such characters that someone like me even knew there’s an insult like “patented idiocy.’’
Ethnic warriors. These ones can’t afford to read any story to the end before ascribing whatever bad deed (that is being reported) to their most disliked ethnic group. Most being Igbo versus Yoruba. They even call themselves ‘’Bia-fraud and Yoru-yahoo.’’ Occasionally, the North is dragged, the problem is nobody will reply to you. But if you insult the president, you will receive a response.
Closet enemies. What seems to annoy these lots is when your picture is all over the place as a celebrity. They are usually the ones that tell the world that your pictures are photoshop and then go to town with the rest of your “inside” gist. They plant intimate stories (probably exaggerated) about the subjects. Stories that can only come from people who know one to their roots.
The grammar murderer. And he is usually the first to comment on issues o! He is abreast of issues, quite alright only that reading him often induces headache.
The clout chaser. Comments on every story. With his real identity of course. More like he comments to sound politically correct. Otherwise, the content of his comments hardly conceals their lack of knowledge of the subject.
Political and religious apologists. What is the least of their headache is the reality on the ground. He’s simply there to return fire for fire for a perceived slight on their political or religious affiliations.
It’s from these ones that you know how expensive rationality is. You see Nigerian politicians and pastors? They have ‘’suffered’’ more in the hands of this category.
Slut-shamers. It’s difficult not to ask WHAT DID WOMEN DO TO YOU to these ones! The bitterness and caustic choice of words with which they greet most “woman gist” actually gives goose pimples.
They are quick to call ladies “hoelosho.” Whatever that means!
You are DEAD (literally) in their hands, if they ever read the gist of your “new whip”(internet slang for a new car).
Credit: Chukwuneta Oby, Punch