Marriage is a beautiful union between two individuals who have the desire to create a long-lasting commitment and a partnership that promotes love, happiness, and emotional stability.
However, if one of the couples has personality disorder which has been overlooked through the passage of time, it can have an adverse effect on their individual mental health and their happiness as a couple.
The 10th of October is declared annually as World Mental Health Day which is an initiative of the World’s Federation for Mental Health to raise global awareness of mental health issues.
According to the World Health Organisation, around 40 -50 million people living in Nigeria have mental illness which is a staggering number with depression and anxiety disorder classed as the most common cause.
Unrealistic self worth
Personality disorder is a mental health issue in many marriages which accounts for many separations and divorces. This condition is common among people suffering from depression and anxiety disorder.
However, men are more susceptible to this mental illness. Men with personality disorder are also known to have narcissistic tendencies and an unrealistic sense of self and will do anything to crave the attention they desire without caring about their spouses feeling.
They can present as aggressive, cohesively controlling, gaslighting, envious, arrogant, manipulative, possessive, intimidating, charming and gentle.
These behaviours can have a negative impact on the spouse’s health and wellbeing and recognising the traits of a narcissistic partner will help you get a better perspective of your relationship with them so that you are able to safeguard your mental health within the process.
A sense of entitlement
Studies have shown that narcissism can be linked to childhood trauma having experienced emotional, physical, or sexual abuse and neglect as a child and now desperately seeking attention in his adult life and not willing to compromise on his needs now.
This desire for acceptance may be the reason your spouse craves his entitlement and your tolerance in all situations without considering your own feelings. Living with a narcissist can be a distressing, exhausting and traumatic experience as he is more likely to want you for himself alone due to his own insecurities.
The fear of loneliness may trigger him to sanction barriers that comes between your relationship such as your external life, relationships with friends and loved ones in his bid to take absolute control.
Vulnerable and manipulative
One of the biggest challenges a woman can encounter in marriage is marrying a narcissist and finding ways to navigate her commitment knowing this will manifest in his behaviour.
This may give him a sense of fulfilment irrespective of her fears; a narcissistic husband is usually skilled at making his demands and taking advantage of his wife due to lack of empathy and would put himself in a vulnerable situation to achieve his aims.
He may exploit your relationship for his own personal interest and may derive pleasures from telling traumatic and depressing stories to distract himself from taking responsibilities for his actions and to gain your trust and empathy.
This marriage can become complicated due to attachment as a narcissistic husband would often rely on his wife for emotional support by being manipulative and undermining her boundaries, leaving her feeling apprehensive and terrified to leave the marriage.
Credit: Elizabeth Badejo