Over the years, I have picked a rather disturbing sentiment from men about the attitude of most wives to the man’s folks. I often say that those that will come into the lives of our children treat us as we have treated those we are in the lives of their children. If you can earnestly say AMEN to this declaration, then FAIRNESS is happening in you already.
The mentality that pervades marriages these days (especially on the part of daughters-in-law) is nothing short of insensitive, selfish, unaccommodating and entitled! And it’s wrecking havoc in both marriage and interpersonal relationships.
Some of us can’t even accept that it’s not “bad friends” but OUR ATTITUDE that needs fixing. If you can’t work on your attitude in interpersonal relationships, it certainly WILL NOT get any better in marriage!
As we conveniently run with the “cleave and cling” sermon, let’s realise that a parent’s welfare SHOULD be PRIORITY in the life of their child and I don’t find that negotiable. Some women have spent YEARS in a marriage in which the mother-in-law (let alone husband’s siblings) has never said THANK YOU to them and they STILL have a problem with what a son does for his parents!
Can we stop with the entitled disposition towards what a spouse does for their folks? People made EFFORTS in their lives long before you even knew his/her name. Always encourage a spouse to give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar. It won’t stop WHO they are to you! A lot of the petty dispositions we bring to the marital table are driven by insecurity. Otherwise, I see no reason why a son’s duty to his parents should ruffle a wife that is FAIR-MINDED, one bit. A happy son is a happier husband!
We have a culture that runs in circles in Africa. Parents take care of the children and the children are expected to give the parents a back to fall on, when the time comes for it.
I would be LYING if I claim I am happy to sweat, sacrifice and deny myself so much to raise a child that will ONLY know their spouse in the future. Actually, I pray and hope I am raising a child who WILL also make me PRIORITY in their lives.
And God forbid that even scratches their duty to their own family! In-laws are FAMILY, too! Thus, relate with an open mind, goodness and faith until that is abused, at least!
You can NOT effectively LOVE a spouse you don’t raise a finger towards the happiness of their folks! What I perceive about marriages of this age is that we like and want the perky side of it without having to touch the mess (in-law wahala, etc) that often comes with the process of MAKING IT WORK but a gem is never found without touching some dirt.
I am not comfortable with the SELFISH disposition towards in-laws that I perceive in the average daughters-in-law nowadays. Why they have not realised how SAD that makes their men beats me. A son doesn’t have to make his parents a “less priority” for his marriage to thrive. We always wish for a goal-post-shift when the time comes for life to deal us the hand we deserve. Otherwise, I have yet to see any woman that sings the “cleave and cling” sermon, as a mother-in-law!
If parents never found it negotiable to break their back to hold the door to a child’s tomorrow, why should it be less when life calls for the children to have their back?
Any “in-law” that will even as much as raise an eyebrow to the relationship that a mother shares with her child should be prayed against, frankly.
Credit: Chukwuneta Oby