Certainly you know that anger can be very detrimental to your relationship. An angry partner’s negative attitude and behaviors can drain your energy, leave you feeling frustrated and unloved, and undermine not only your well-being but the health of the relationship.
However, if you are able to deal wonderfully with an angry partner, your relationship would gradually transform for the better.
Below are some tips to deal with an angry partner:
1. Communicate Constructively, Understand, and Validate
People often act in an angry way because they think they are not being heard, not being taken seriously, or not being appreciated and in the long run, this makes them feel disappointed and ignored.
To avoid igniting your partner’s anger, it is wise to actively listen to them until you are sure they feel heard, understood and trusted. Go underneath the surface and try to understand their deepest needs, and validate their feelings and experiences.
Validation is one way we communicate acceptance of ourselves and others. It doesn’t mean agreeing with everything they do or say. On the other hand, it is recognizing and considering your partner’s point of view.
The key to validation is being present and genuinely attempting to understand your partner and whatever makes them different. It is treating your partner with the utmost respect and showing them that you understand your differences.
2. Address The Problem When Your Partner Is Calm
When your partner’s emotional state is highly charged, their mental state may be impaired too. There is little point in addressing your issue while the anger still dominates. Allow time for the negative energy to settle in order to establish more rational discussion.
When both of you are calm and settled, address the issue that led to your partner’s angry behavior. At this calm moment, they might be more open to listening and understanding and willing to talk. Also, this rule should also be applicable to yourself.
When your emotional or angry parts are activated, take time to calm down before speaking. Anger fuels anger, and calming promotes a calmer atmosphere and peace.
3. Do not think of control but of influencing them to change.
Don’t focus on trying to change your partner. You can’t and that should not be your priority. You can, however, lovingly influence your partner and show them the benefits of doing things your way. You can influence your partner by creating a positive environment that is conducive to cooperation rather than control.
4. Reflect on Your Actions With an Open Mind
To be responsible is to accept your role in being frustrated with an angry partner and reflecting on what actions may have triggered their anger. It also means understanding what in particular triggers you to behave the way you do.
The more aware you become, the less angry and more constructive you may become. The result would be greater well-being for you, your partner, and your relationship.
5. Apologize if you have to
If you realize you played a role in promoting an argument, be responsible, brace up and acknowledge your part. Apologise and explain what led to your act so that you had your partner would understand each other better. You owning up to your errors could reduce tension and encourage your partner to do the same as well.
6. Use calm words
You should have heard the saying , “You can catch more ants with sugar.” When you treat your partner with sweetness and love, you end up bringing them closer to you—and they would be closer to understanding how you feel and why you feel that way. This may increase your chances of productive outcomes.
If you apply the above steps, you may be surprised to see how much the negativity and anger between you and your spouse transforms and your relationship flourishes.
Credit: Fabwoman